5 years ago

I would have written this on Thursday but I'll be on the road and can't, so I'll just be ahead of myself. So 5 years ago (this Thursday), I went on my first date with Sam. We had met at his cousin's wedding which I planned on June 9, 2007. We exchanged numbers and talked everyday on the phone from that day forth. I was wanting to drive down to Atlanta to go on a date but I was nervous. Having never driven to even Nashville by myself, driving to Atlanta seemed like the most scary thing ever. I mentioned to my brother that I wanted to go to Atlanta to see Sam, but Jake quickly rejected the idea of little-old twenty-two year old me driving all the way to Atlanta in my crappy '89 chevy blazer to go see a thirty year old man (older than my brother) whom I've only met once. My parents and I were already planning a trip to see my brother in Knoxville so he suggested that I meet Sam there and spend the night at his house the night before our parent's would arrive. I figured there was no way in hell that Sam would agree to spend the night in some strange man's house just to go on a date with a girl he had only seen once. But Sam, being the affable gentleman that he is, agreed. So on June 21, I drove in my rented car (my Chevy Blazer,  d'Artagnan would have died half-way there and yes, I named my Blazer after a Musketeer) all the way to Knoxville. I made 5 cds of good driving songs and wore a shirt that wouldn't show sweaty pit stains. I was doing so many nerve-wracking things all at once. I was driving farther than I had ever driven before. I was going on a date. And I was actually going on a date with someone I was really interested in and was also very handsome. So we met in the Wal-Mart parking lot at Turkey Creek shopping center, because that's where all classy dates should begin. At that point, I was a messy ball of sweat. My stomach was dancing around my insides and my throat tightened up. When I got out of my car and walked towards him, I started to run towards him but then felt silly, so I slowed down to a more calm, normal pace. Fortunately, all Sam noticed was how nice my figure was, especially my ass once he got a better look. You got to love the difference in male/female trains-of-thought.
Female: OMG, I'm so nervous, I must look like a wreck, how's my hair, he looks so hot, why did I wear these shoes, what do I do if I have to burp, I'm so unlady-like, does my breath stink, I knew I should have stopped off at a gas station and bought gum, brushed my teeth, sprayed my whole being with mint, look normal, stop walking like that, you look like a constipated ostrich.
Male: I could bang her.



So after our initial meeting, we walked over hand-in-hand to the Olive Garden. I got to have another moment of over-analysis running rampant when it came to choosing from the menu. It couldn't be anything too pricey or too messy (definitely no spaghetti). I ended up choosing something way too garlicky, oops! It ended up not mattering much since my stomach was so knotted I barely ate. Not so knotted that I couldn't drink 2 sangrias! After the meal we saw Pirates of the Caribbean II or III. About 2/3rds of the way in, we had our first kiss. At some point that day, I asked him, "Are we...?" and he replied, "Yes." His one word reply to my half-finished question made us officially together. The next day we walked hand-in-hand through Market Square. They have a fountain that you can splash in and we had our first photo as a couple taken.

                                   
It's been a crazy, hard, and wonderful 5 years and I wouldn't change a thing. Our whole story involves little chance encounters and circumstances that allowed us to meet at the right time. I feel incredibly lucky that life took me where we needed to be in order for us to meet and fall in love. Life can knock you down, twist you around, and bitch-slap you in the face. But it can also pick you up, carry you around, and give you the one meant to walk with you for the remainder of your days.

Who are you?

I've had 1008 page view as of today and I know they can't all be from my mom. So, if you are reading my blog in the next couple of weeks, please leave a comment with who you are and where you are from. Thank you and please keep reading! There are surely more Samber Misadventures around the corner! 

I Bought a Sewing Machine...Now What?

I guess I should sew. That's the obvious answer. Except I don't quite know how to do that yet. I bought the cart before the horse knowing that I don't know the first thing about horses and I'm kind of scared of them. I'm not actually scared of horses, I mean sewing, I just get intimidated by my lack of skills and the possibility of failing so I just don't end up trying at all. That is why I never played sports in school, or asked a guy out, or did anything that put myself in a place where I could fail. If Sam hadn't asked me out, I would still be single to this day. So the next obvious question is why did you buy the sewing machine in the first place? Because it's pretty. Seriously, it's a gorgeous machine. It's the 160th Singer Anniversary sewing machine. If I'm to ever learn how to sew, it's going to be on this pretty baby. It can decorative stitch all sorts of fancy designs at the push of a button! When I bought it, I told my mom I was going to decoratively stitch the shit out of everything! So far, Annie has decoratively stitched her shorts and I've fixed Sam's scrubs. I'm doing a horrible job at it and can't sew straight to save my life, but Sam's pockets are staying in place. That's the whole point and no one has told Sam that it looked like his pockets had been fixed by a blind, one-armed monkey. Yet. I also haven't figured out how to get the thread on the bobbin, but Annie does so I just ask her to do it. I don't know what I'm going to do whenever she moves out. I've also fixed a few of my shirts and they don't look too horrible. I really do need to learn how to sew properly. My body shape is so not normal and it means a lot of my clothes need little things adjusted to make them fit properly. God was in a random sort of mood when my genetics were thrown around. I'm 5'3'' and most of that is in my torso. I have the same torso length as my friend Aaron, a 5'9''ish dude. So I have an abnormally long torso precariously placed on short, thick legs. To make matters weirder, my narrow rib cage is graced with voluptuous bosoms. I'm not complaining about my bosoms but they complicate life and there are so many pretty things I can't wear because of them. Oh, and my belly button is absurdly high on my stomach. I don't know why, it just is. Sam will poke me where my belly button should be and then jokingly look at me funny and them move his finger the three inches north to where it actually resides. So my shoulders are normal and I have a small frame when it comes to my loverly arm pits. My legs, as I've mentioned are short and and thick. I have the legs of an Eastern European milk maid circa 1875. They aren't pretty. My hips are narrow and my thighs are anything but. Speaking of butts, mine is actually nice, thank you Jesus! So when it comes to buying a shirt, for it to fit my bosom, it ends up being too big under my arms. Because my torso is so long and my bosom is big, the shirt will stop where my belly button is suppose to be. My pants will fit my waist but are too tight on my thighs with 5 inches of excess length. But pants from the petite section rise up so much when I sit, my cankles are exposed. Yes, I have cankles. Sam tells me they make me more sturdy. That's a lie, if they made me more sturdy, I'd be less clumsy. So I have to buy shirts that are too big and pants that are too long. I also procrastinate so getting these items to a seamstress doesn't happen frequently enough. My closet is full of things I don't wear because they need alterations. If I could fix them myself, I'd have a much easier time looking put together in clothes that fit me and not sort-of fit me. Anyway, I need to get the courage to straddle the sewing machine and learn how to ride it? I've mixed my expressions up along the way. Regardless, I need to learn how to sew. Tomorrow or the next day...