My Dogs don't like Jehovah's Witnesses

My dogs do not like Jehovah's Witnesses. Thank God, cause I don't either. Actually I don't really care much for anybody that promotes their religious beliefs by showing up at my door while I'm just trying to watch TV braless and wearing pajama bottoms at 2pm on a Saturday. Unfortunately, you can see the couch from our front door so me running away is clearly viewable. Fortunately, Bruce and Willa can sense them before they get to the door, so I have time to flee and hide. Bruce and Willa throw a barking fit at the door, looking very intimidating and the JoHo's (as my college buddy, Ott, used to refer to them) go away. But they love our neighborhood and keep coming back! This is also annoying because Sam sleeps during the day and they've woken him up several times. Or we just find their pamphlets stuck in the door. Look, nothing anybody says is going to sway my view on religion. Nothing. My beliefs are my own and I'm fortunate my parents promoted free thinking about politics and religion. Their lack of pushing is probably the only reason I still believe in God. My personality hates authority and being told what to do or what to believe in and most of my friends that had pushy religious crazy parents ended up atheists or married early so they could have guilt-free sex. Because of my parents, I believe in God and have all the guilt-free sex I want...with my husband. But if I wasn't married, I know that making the adult decision to have sex regardless of marital sex, isn't going to send me to hell. Besides. if all the sluts and gays and fun people are going to hell and the virginal, saintly folks are going to heaven...then hell sounds like the place to be. I'd rather be with my gay friends then stuck on a cloud with stuck-up Christians discussing sweaters and tupperware. Anyway, I got off topic...where was I....JoHos!
I'm thinking about making a sign for my door that says:

BEWARE ALL YE WHO DARE KNOCK OR HIT THE DOORBELL:
This house is occupied by a grumpy man who sleeps during the day, a belligerent woman, a cat with an attitude problem, and two pit-bulls who love the taste of  Jehovah's Witnesses, Salespeople, and Robbers. Thank you and have a lovely day bothering someone else.

Beat's the hell out of a welcome mat. Here's a picture of Willa chewing up a JoHo pamphlet. I was about to stop her until I realized what it was...then I pat her on the head, told her she was a good girl, and let her continue shredding it.